ME!

After taking an extended hiatus I’ve decided to return to updating my sweet little blog. This last year as been pretty much one crazy whirlwind that I haven’t been able to handle. Up until yesterday I pretty much didn’t even feel alive. The winter was long and I’m whiny, so the combination wasn’t great for my morale. After regaining my perspective life I’ve come back to spill my guts, discuss the world, share things I like and most importantly share my road to self-discovery and awareness. SO WASSUP. I’m going to pubic meditation tonight, which should be pretty interesting since I have a hard time not laughing when I’m supposed to be serious. Let’s do this thing.

On Wednesday morning I woke up and did my normal daily routine: shower, eat, read the news and check Facebook. What I saw when I looked at my newsfeed that morning wasn’t at all what I expected. It was about 8:45 a.m. and the second post from the top read:

“To all Amber’s friends, we regret to tell you that Amber was in a car accident last night and she passed away. She is greatly missed and will continue to light up our lives through our memories. Her viewing and funeral will be this weekend at Seebold’s in Selinsgrove, it will be posted in the Daily Item and The Patriot News. Thanks for being her friend. ~Her Loving Family”

Completely in shock I called my two best friends, who were still sleeping because it was early, and then proceeded to call my grandma. When my grandma answered the phone I was in total disbelief and even thought the post was some kind of joke. There was no way someone I shared so many memories with in high school could be gone, just 5 years after our graduation, and so close to our class reunion. It was devastating for all of us. However, if there is one thing we learned from our dear friend’s passing, it’s how much we all love each other and that we need to truly cherish every moment we have together. Amber was a beautiful, amazing person who loved us all very much. We always called each other “Luvah” from the SNL skit with Will Ferrell and Rachel Dratch. There are so many memories and I can’t even put them into words right now. It sounds so trite, but seriously tell everyone you can you love them and try not to lose touch, because you really never know when they will be gone.

I feel like I’ve been learning this lesson my entire life. During  the last phone conversation I had with my dad when I was just 12 years old he told me how much he loved me and that if I ever needed anything he was always there to talk. I told him the same for me and hung up the phone. I never thought that would be the last time we would ever speak. It’s crazy because I think now how I don’t talk to my best friends enough or even my mom. Life is just so fragile and you never realize it until someone isn’t there anymore.

“That it shall never come again is what makes life so sweet” Emily Dickinson